HIGH-FIVE HOLLYWOOD!

This time, the montage is in L.A.

Bottle Discipline "Giggling Girls"

Todd Glass and Jimmy Dore have had enough with everyone's little, annoying tendencies. It's time they set the world straight, once and for all.

Pa. driver sat through 6 lights, faces DUI charge

DILLSBURG, Pa. -Police say horns started honking as a sport-utility vehicle sat through six green lights at a south-central Pennsylvania intersection.

Officers arrived to investigate the SUV that seemed to be parked in the intersection, and found the driver asleep at the wheel, with his foot on the brake and a beer in the console.

Officers yelled to wake the man, then had to quickly halt the vehicle when his foot came off the brake and it drifted into the intersection Saturday night in Carroll Township, about 15 miles west of Harrisburg.

The 41-year-old was charged with driving under the influence.

HIGH-FIVE!

Don't hold back.

Bottle Discipline "The Loud Talker"

Todd Glass and Jimmy Dore have had enough with everyone's little, annoying tendencies. It's time they set the world straight, once and for all.

Drunken Mich. man asks cop for hug, gets arrested

ANN ARBOR, Mich. -Police said a drunken man was arrested after he cursed at an officer who refused to give him a hug. The Ann Arbor News reported the 44-year-old man had been yelling at people and walking in the street Thursday when officers responded. The man agreed to return to his home in Washtenaw County's Superior Township, about 30 miles west-southwest of Detroit.

But he then approached a patrol car and yelled at an officer, asking for a hug and swearing at him when the officer refused, while still blocking traffic.

The man was arrested and detained. He refused a Breathalyzer test and may face disorderly conduct charges.

Hot Pocket Revenge

Jim Gaffigan has a run in with an "over-friendly" fan.
Featuring Todd Glass and Jimmy Dore.

Hardly Working: Airplane

Terror at 4 1/2 feet.

Woman Has Failed Driver's Test 771 Times

SEOUL, South Korea - A woman in South Korea who has taken the written exam required for a driver's license nearly every day since 2005 has failed again — but is hoping attempt No. 772 will be the charm.

The aspiring driver took her first test in April 2005, according to Choi Young-chul, an official at the North Jeolla Province driver's license agency in Jeonju, 150 miles south of Seoul.
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She has taken the test a record 771 times, most recently on Monday, but has yet to pass. She said she plans to take the test again but did not say when, he said Thursday.

The 68-year-old has spent $3,000 on fees for the test, he said. Applicants must score at least 60 on the written exam before they can get behind the wheel for a driving test. Choi says she's scored as high as 50.

"I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail. When she passes, I'll make a memorial tablet myself and give it to her," Park Jung-seok, a traffic police officer at the agency, told the Korea Times newspaper.

No other details about her identity were released other than her family name, Cha.

The Slasher: Jason's Comeback

The Onion: 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams

Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts.

Funny Picture #7

Schmid Happens!

Man hoping to get fired allegedly trashes eatery

MADISON, Wis. -A restaurant worker was accused of trashing the place in an attempt to get fired and collect unemployment compensation. A criminal complaint filed Thursday said a 35-year-old man showed up at a Qdoba restaurant and started throwing brownies and cookies on the floor.

The man then went into the kitchen and threw pots and pans around, then went into a storage area and threw boxes of hot sauce on the floor.

Police said the man told them he was trying to get fired and couldn't collect unemployment if he simply quit.

Stand-Up: Jim Gaffigan - Bacon

Jim Gaffigan talks about his love of bacon in this clip from his brand new Comedy Central special and DVD "King Baby", premiering March 29th @ 9pm!!

Stand-Up: Jim Gaffigan - Waffle House

Jim Gaffigan talks about Waffle House in this clip from his brand new Comedy Central special and DVD "King Baby", premiering March 29th @ 9pm!!

Stand-Up: Jim Gaffigan - Lazy

Jim Gaffigan talks about being lazy in the 21st century in this clip from his upcoming DVD, "King Baby".
This clip is EXCLUSIVELY on the DVD. The DVD contains over 30 minutes of stand-up not seen on Comedy Central and tons of other bonus features!

Stand-Up: Jim Gaffigan - Bologna

Jim Gaffigan talks about his love for bologna in this clip from his upcoming Comedy Central special and DVD "KING BABY", premiering March 29th @ 9pm!!

Boyce Avenue: Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most (acoustic)

Police Say Teen Posed as Chicago Cop

CHICAGO - A 14-year-old boy accused of impersonating a police officer and going on patrol has pleaded not guilty.

The teenager appeared in a juvenile courtroom on Monday with his hands cuffed behind his back. A judge ordered that he be held at the juvenile center because he could pose a danger to himself.

On Saturday the teen, wearing an officer's uniform, walked into a police station and was assigned to go on patrol. He partnered with another officer for about five hours.

Assistant Superintendent James Jackson said the ruse was discovered only after the boy's patrol ended. Officers noticed his uniform lacked a star that is part of the regulation uniform.

Police say the boy did not have a gun, never issued any tickets and didn't drive the squad car.

The Rev. Roosevelt Watkins says the boy had lived with him for much of the past year and is fascinated by police work.

Students Define Grinding

How close is too close? The eternal debate between students and principal rages on (from "The Principal's Office" on TruTV).

Funny Picture #6

Wow, I can be just like professional pen spinner. I’m going to practice everyday.

Fresh Prince Theme: Gangsta Version

This is what the song would sound like if he'd stayed in West Philadelphia.

Darwin Award: Pierced!

(Pennsylvania) A 23-year-old man with various body piercings decided to have some fun at work. He wondered, "What it would feel like to connect the electronic control tester to my chest piercings?" Several coworkers tried to convince him that it was a bad idea to wire himself up to the electronic device, but he ignored their pleas.

He proceeded to connect two alligator clips to his metal nipple piercings, one on each side, and hit the test button... His coworkers were still trying to revive him with CPR and rescue breathing when police and rescue personnel arrived. They were not successful.

John C Reilly in Satisfaction Guaranteed

Pepperbees cares about customers.

The Onion: How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping, Severing Your Spine

Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.

Job seeker accused of robbing Subway restaurant

OMAHA, Neb. -It's a safe bet that he won't get the job. Omaha police said a man who asked for and began filling out a job application at a local Subway restaurant held up the store. Investigators said the man was in the middle of filling out the application when he pulled a knife and demanded money, the fled on foot with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Subway was offering up to a $5,000 cash reward for the arrest of anyone involved in the robberies of several metro-area Subway restaurants.

Louis CK - Everything is amazing, nobody is happy...

Louis CK on Conans show, explaining why you suck when you're spoiled.

Prank War 7: The Half Million Dollar Shot

Amir makes a blindfolded half-court basketball shot for $500,000. Or so he thinks.

Darwin Award: Clotheslined!

(Florida) Wearing only swim trunks and sneakers, a 37-year-old man raced his motorcycle toward the Manasota Key drawbridge. As the bridge began to open, it was clear that he intended to "shoot the gap." Bridge designers had anticipated such lunacy and invented the crossing guard. The closing gates swept him off his Suzuki, over the side of the bridge, into the water, and out of the gene pool. By a twist of fate the motorcycle continued up the ramp and made it across to the other side.

Self Defense With Gavin McInnes

You're never too old to learn to protect yourself.

Stand Up: Jimmy Dore

Fleeing suspect picks the wrong place to hide

PHOENIX -A suspect who ran away from a traffic stop on Wednesday chose the wrong place to hide when he slipped under a parked moving truck — and then was run over when the driver pulled away. The Arizona Department of Public Safety said an officer stopped a 26-year-old man in west Phoenix just before 7 a.m. after he ran a red light. The man gave the officer his license, then ran away and disappeared behind a convenience store.

As the officer searched for him, the moving truck driver got back in his truck and started to drive away, running over the suspect. The officer stopped the truck and called help for his suspect, who complained of back pain.

The man had a suspended driver license and warrants for DUI and leaving an accident scene. He'll be booked into jail after treatment.

Will Smith's Cry For Help

On the 20th anniversary of this now classic song, Jon Daly pulls back the veil of innocence to reveal the true pain of the Fresh Prince.