Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Darwin Award: Thou Shalt Not Steel
(Czech Republic) Steel is valuable, especially the high-grade alloy used in steel cable. Scrap metal dealers do not ask questions. They pay in cash. And a good supply of steel cable can be found in elevator shafts.
This particular gold mine was a towering shaft inside an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague. The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.
After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable. At that instant the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downward, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.
Result: one proud winner of a "terminal velocity" Darwin Award.
This particular gold mine was a towering shaft inside an empty granary near Zatec, forty miles northwest of Prague. The cable was tightly fastened, and the far end of it disappeared into the shadowy distance above.
After substantial wear and tear on a hacksaw, our man finally cut through the strong steel cable. At that instant the counterbalance, no longer held in check, started to move silently downward, accelerating until it reached the bottom of the shaft.
Result: one proud winner of a "terminal velocity" Darwin Award.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Verizon Operator Gets Math Lesson
The Operator's math is actually correct depending on your definition of the number 2.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Dog-gone-it! Man loses dog, river swallows car
PORT HURON TOWNSHIP, Mich. -A man driven to find his lost dog also lost his car after he drove onto the frozen Black River in St. Clair County, locked himself out of the idling vehicle, then watched as heat from the 1994 Buick's exhaust pipe melted the ice beneath it.
WPHM-AM, the Detroit Free Press and the Times Herald in Port Huron reported that a police dive team were expected Wednesday to help pull the car from the frigid river off Port Huron Township, about 55 miles northeast of Detroit.
The newspapers said the Buick was a loaner while the man's vehicle is being repaired at a collision shop.
WPHM-AM, the Detroit Free Press and the Times Herald in Port Huron reported that a police dive team were expected Wednesday to help pull the car from the frigid river off Port Huron Township, about 55 miles northeast of Detroit.
The newspapers said the Buick was a loaner while the man's vehicle is being repaired at a collision shop.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The NBA on ESPN - Shaq and Mike Breen Play "20 Questions"
Shaq and Mike Breen play 20 Questions on the NBA on ESPN RV.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The NBA on ESPN - Shaq Plays Scrabble by His Own Rules
Shaq bends the rules when playing Scrabble with Mike Breen and Stuart Scott on the NBA on ESPN RV.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Darwin Award: A One Track Mind
(Italy) Gerhard, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sportscar. Before one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing, and Gerhard had not let the queue progress forward far enough before he drove onto the tracks. As you might imagine, given Murphy's Law, a train was coming.
The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. According to witnesses, it took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck. Finally he jumped from the car and started to run--straight toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his sportscar!
The attempt was partly successful. The car received less damage than its owner, who landed 30 meters away. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.
The moral of the story? Momentum always wins.
The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. According to witnesses, it took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck. Finally he jumped from the car and started to run--straight toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his sportscar!
The attempt was partly successful. The car received less damage than its owner, who landed 30 meters away. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.
The moral of the story? Momentum always wins.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The NBA on ESPN - Mike Breen and Shaq Disagree
I have not been a fan of Shaq since he turned down Kazaam 2, but I think these commercials are pretty funny.
Mike Breen gets weird with Shaq on the NBA on ESPN RV.
Mike Breen gets weird with Shaq on the NBA on ESPN RV.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Man crashes into truck, business, fence and a tree
OLDSMAR, Fla. -Authorities said an Oldsmar man crashed into a parked pick-up truck, a business, a fence and a tree before he finally landed in the Pinellas County Jail. According to a news release, a 42-year-old man left a liquor store Tuesday night, climbed into his car and backed into the truck. He then rammed the truck through the front window of the business he had just left.
But the man kept driving, plowing through a fence and crashing into a vacant business. He hit a tree while he was trying to flee the scene and witnesses held him until deputies arrived.
The suspect was taken to a hospital with injuries that weren't life threatening.
But the man kept driving, plowing through a fence and crashing into a vacant business. He hit a tree while he was trying to flee the scene and witnesses held him until deputies arrived.
The suspect was taken to a hospital with injuries that weren't life threatening.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Funny Picture #5
Crashing into a house sucks. Crashing into a house and onto someone's Ferrari 360 Modena really, really, really sucks.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Children’s Hospital
A hospital isn't a place for lazy people. It's a place for smart people who take care of people who aren't smart enough to keep themselves healthy. So begins Childrens' Hospital, an all-new series that follows the lives, loves and laughs of a hospital staff.
Episode 1
Episode 1
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Family Fun with Father and Son
Spending a beautiful spring day with your family can be fucking awesome.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Darwin Award: The Balloon Priest
The 2008 Darwin Award Winners have just been announced so over the next couple of weeks I will be posting them on here. Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
The Balloon Priest
(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a host of helium party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. Larry, the beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy fiasco, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above the Los Angeles landscape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the weather balloons. Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight.
Adelir Antonio, 51, was not so lucky.
His audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. But, as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.
He did not know how to use the GPS.
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location, since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.
Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.
The Balloon Priest
(20 April 2008, Atlantic Ocean, Brazil) A Catholic priest recently ascended to heaven on a host of helium party balloons, paying homage to Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. Larry, the beloved survivor of a Darwin-worthy fiasco, attached 45 helium weather balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the tether--but instead of drifting above the Los Angeles landscape as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the lift of the weather balloons. Astoundingly, Larry survived the flight.
Adelir Antonio, 51, was not so lucky.
His audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build a spiritual rest stop for truckers. But, as truckers know, sitting for 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal mistake.
He did not know how to use the GPS.
The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost at sea, he prudently phoned for help--but rescuers were unable to determine his location, since he could not use his GPS. He struggled with the unit as the charge on the satellite phone dwindled.
Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the building.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Kid Stoned On Laughing Gas
He's no longer scared of the dentist, but he's terrified of the like, meaninglessness of life and stuff.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Police Say Man Posed as Female Vet
VINELAND, N.J. - Police say a New Jersey man posed as a female animal doctor, ran an illegal veterinary practice and set up a phony rescue agency that may have duped pet lovers out of thousands of dollars.
Daniel Tyce, 26, posed as a female veterinarian and set up a phony rescue agency in southern New Jersey, police said.
Vineland police arrested 26-year-old Daniel C. Tyce on Friday and charged him with practicing medicine without a license. He is being held on $10,000 bail.
Police say he ran a business called South Jersey Small Animal Rescue, falsely identifying himself as Dr. Danielle Smith, a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania veterinary school.
Police say he inoculated pets and offered small animals for adoption for a fee. He also solicited donations, claiming the agency was a nonprofit. Authorities say it was not.
Police do not know if Tyce has retained a lawyer.
Daniel Tyce, 26, posed as a female veterinarian and set up a phony rescue agency in southern New Jersey, police said.
Vineland police arrested 26-year-old Daniel C. Tyce on Friday and charged him with practicing medicine without a license. He is being held on $10,000 bail.
Police say he ran a business called South Jersey Small Animal Rescue, falsely identifying himself as Dr. Danielle Smith, a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania veterinary school.
Police say he inoculated pets and offered small animals for adoption for a fee. He also solicited donations, claiming the agency was a nonprofit. Authorities say it was not.
Police do not know if Tyce has retained a lawyer.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Funny Picture #2
Maybe he has that ‘Shallow Hal’ disease and he thinks his wife looks like Gwyneth Paltrow.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Lyrics: Action and Satisfaction
Hey pretty lady I must ask you a question
I need to know what’s you first impression
It is hard to tell by your expression
I hope you do not mind my indiscretion
But I need an answer or I’ll fall into depression
I’m sorry I cannot help my obsession
I just need you in my possession
I picture you walking down the isle in procession
I’m going to fast pardon my transgression
I’ll slow down and make a quick regression
And begin by asking your profession
Pardon my attraction, let’s get down to action
If there’s no distraction, I’ll give you satisfaction
They call me “Trojan” because I’m the protection
You better back up when I have an erection
All the ladies want to show me their affection
But I only want you to come to my section
When I look at you I feel a connection
I look in the mirror and only see your reflection
Because in my mind you are perfection
I wish I had the power of resurrection
So I could turn this in a new direction
Because I’ve noticed after some inspection
All I am getting from you is so much rejection
Excuse my distraction, I can tell by your reaction
You’re not feeling the attraction, or getting satisfaction
I think you are God’s greatest creation
Looking at you I can’t contain my elation
We should go to a more private location
Being near you creates a wonderful sensation
Like the Beach Boys I’m picking up good vibrations
I thought we had a nice conversation
I don’t know what happened in our isolation
She came to some sort of revelation
And left me without any explanation
I cannot deal with this type of situation
I guess I’ll just stick with masturbation
I need to know what’s you first impression
It is hard to tell by your expression
I hope you do not mind my indiscretion
But I need an answer or I’ll fall into depression
I’m sorry I cannot help my obsession
I just need you in my possession
I picture you walking down the isle in procession
I’m going to fast pardon my transgression
I’ll slow down and make a quick regression
And begin by asking your profession
Pardon my attraction, let’s get down to action
If there’s no distraction, I’ll give you satisfaction
They call me “Trojan” because I’m the protection
You better back up when I have an erection
All the ladies want to show me their affection
But I only want you to come to my section
When I look at you I feel a connection
I look in the mirror and only see your reflection
Because in my mind you are perfection
I wish I had the power of resurrection
So I could turn this in a new direction
Because I’ve noticed after some inspection
All I am getting from you is so much rejection
Excuse my distraction, I can tell by your reaction
You’re not feeling the attraction, or getting satisfaction
I think you are God’s greatest creation
Looking at you I can’t contain my elation
We should go to a more private location
Being near you creates a wonderful sensation
Like the Beach Boys I’m picking up good vibrations
I thought we had a nice conversation
I don’t know what happened in our isolation
She came to some sort of revelation
And left me without any explanation
I cannot deal with this type of situation
I guess I’ll just stick with masturbation
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Back On Topps
Come on a comedic, behind-the-scenes journey into one of the world's most recognizable sports companies. When The Topps Company falls into new ownership, sport-loving twin brothers Leyland and Leif Topps (The Sklar Brothers) face a challenge in their new work environment. These former heirs must prove to their new boss that they are indeed worthy and valuable to the sports and card world, and in doing so they might just land Back on Topps. Right now there are 17 episodes and I am not sure if they are doing more, but I think they are very entertaining.
Ep #1 - Pilot
To see more check out http://www.backontopps.com/ or subscribe via iTunes.
Ep #1 - Pilot
To see more check out http://www.backontopps.com/ or subscribe via iTunes.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Firefighters break down wrong door during training
HAMILTON, Ohio -Firefighters are apologizing after mixing up street addresses during a training exercise in Hamilton and smashing down the wrong door. Deputy Fire Chief Greg Robbins said he directed firefighters to what he thought was a vacant, city-owned home to run training drills on Friday. Instead the crew broke down the door at the home of Mike and Cathy Grosse, causing $1,000 in damage.
Cathy Grosse was out shopping with her four children and other family members at the time and her husband was at work, where he got the call about the mistake.
Cathy Grosse said the mistake was bad enough coming the day after Christmas. But the family also had to deal with a break-in by burglars through a different door in August.
The fire department was paying to have the door replaced.
Cathy Grosse was out shopping with her four children and other family members at the time and her husband was at work, where he got the call about the mistake.
Cathy Grosse said the mistake was bad enough coming the day after Christmas. But the family also had to deal with a break-in by burglars through a different door in August.
The fire department was paying to have the door replaced.
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